i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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