Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she smelled like a LAN party
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
