No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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