You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have already put on my inside pants.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
