and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
