Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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