Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
