I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
