have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
