Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it hurts more in the daytime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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