I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
