We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
