If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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