I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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