One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
