im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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