I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
