just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
As shirtless as possible
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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