I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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