I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
