Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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