I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize