It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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