Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
