idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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