my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
