So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
