Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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