you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
