You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
