Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize