What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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