What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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