I should be sponsored by Trojan
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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