I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
