Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
