we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
