This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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