just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
