His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize