how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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