He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
