Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
