How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
