the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
