I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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