she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
