Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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