it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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