Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
