If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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