Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
