Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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