Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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