Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
