i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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