Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
