i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize