Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
