Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
