so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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