He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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